( shannon )
id leave it all behind to be with you tonight ♥
Posts: 50,697
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Post by ( shannon ) on Sept 25, 2010 13:47:42 GMT -5
Okay there's just a few things that need to be changed in the application. The first thing I noticed was bits like "She is one to use her looks to get her way with people, its so easy for her to bat one eye a guys way he's at her will." That should be split into two sentences. I would just reread through the application for run-on sentences real quickly and change them. I would also look for small errors like missing apostrophes or mix ups between "your" and "you're". The length is great so if you could just do a run through and really make sure you get all the little mistakes, then this will be accepted (:
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