_the new boy.

[seth]

Character Name: Conway Lee Blake
Nickname(s): BITCH!
Gender: Male
Age: Seventeen
Grade: Senior
Former School: Transfer
Sexuality: Homosexual
Clique: Prep
Weight: One Hundred & Sixty Seven Pounds (167lbs.)
Height: Six Foot Seven. (6'0)
Appearence:

Conway tends to let his body be his personal object of self lust. He was blessed with a nice six pack washboard tummy. He also developed great big muscles on his arms, legs, and chest, and is often complemented on for his booty! He tends to keep his hair well groomed, and neat. He love to cut in stylish ways, and often times is trying something others wouldn't. He is a huge fan of personal style, and like to make a bang when he enters a room. He LOVES to wear black leather, studs, and skinny jeans. Another notable feature is his piercings. He has two size twelve gages in both ears, a tongue piercing, and a black diamond navel chain. He is also known for wearing makeup. He never goes crazy though. All natural, mineral makeup, and flesh tone MAC lip gloss.

Personality:

Conway tends to speak his mind, and because of it people label him as a bitch. He can't help it though. If someone looks bad, he just blurts out his feelings. Is that so wrong? If it's needed he doesn't stray to back-stab. He is often labeled as a snob as well. He only hangs out with others, or for that matter talk to others that he believes would make him look better. A word of advice. Don't get on his bad side. Sophomore year he made a girl take up cutting because her grandma died, and couldn't make state dance. Conway tends to have a cocky demeanor. There isn't a thing you can tell him he can't do. He is driven to success, and won't stop until he reaches it.

History:

So hailing from LaLa land, California. I'm a so call baby fo'sho. I grew up in a small town about and hour or two from San Fransisco. I wasn't always the shit though. Don't tell people okay, but I use to be..fat. Yeah I'll give you a minute to absorb this. Now then, as a child I was really gross. It was like before puberty or whatever, but I use to get bullied all the time, which probably turned me into a bitch. It took it's toll on me, and I eventually stopped eating, and shit, and got like.. anorexic. It's gross but it was totally so fourth grade.

Anyways, my parents noticed me getting bullied so like they transfered me to this school in New York, where I was always walking around, and soon enough I lost all this weight. Then at this school I meet this guy named Alex, who I had an occasional fling with, and it like catapulted me into my own self fame. Alex was already a popular guy, but using him made me popular too. I had lots, of friends, and probably more enemies. So like last year though, our school got shot up! You probably heard about it, cause it was on the news. Some Gothic-Emo little freaky ass kid had a grudge, and he went nuts. I was highlighted on his death list, and it scared the shit out of mom and dad. So now im transfered here. Oh geez. I guess, I should get to class. Later bitch! Love ya!

Sample Rp:

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Eyes flickering, Conway awoke to his alarm going off. Today was his first day, at central and he didn't want to be late. Pssh who am I kidding. Like he cares about time. The teacher can wait all he or she wants for him. Conway reached over eyes still adjusting, and turned off the loud beeps. Sliding out of bed he walked to his bathroom looking in the mirror. Eww. I look like shit. He thought as he examined his half asleep face, and messy hair. After taking a quick shower, he got out his beauty supplies and went to work. About an hour passed, and he was finally ready. He graped his nice little bag throwing his makeup kit inside, next to his iPhone™.

Making his way outside he decided he wasn't going to walk. Administration was only a half mile away, if that but he wasn't fixing to walk that. Pulling out of the dorms parking lot, he turned on his radio, singing along to the Britney Spears song on the radio. His base probably could wake up the entire dorm hall, but that wasn't his problem. He drove along the road looking out to the many people walking, making scoffing sounds at them, and laughing at a couple people, style choices. Upon stopping at a red light he flipped down his sun block mirror and looked at his reflection. He looked great but he was lacking some lip gloss. Reaching into his bag he pulled out some MAC Chai™ lip gloss, and applied it evenly to his lips. Puckering a few times he smiled, and put it away. Then he saw it. In the car next to him were two teenage boys laughing. He knew why, and shrugged it off. Smiling the light turned green, and he rocketed away like a racer. But not before making sure to swerve in front of the other car of course. Looking in his rear view mirror he could she the boys swerving on the road, nearly crashing in a ditch. His day would be fun.

Celeb:

MITCH HEWER _

Out Of Character:

Hello there. My name is Seth, and as you can see I'm applying for Central, as Conway Blake. Hopefully you'll see me and Conway have nothing in common other then sexuality. I'm not nearly as rude as him. I'm seventeen, well actually I won't be until Sunday. (Nov21st.) If you'd like to make contact with me please see the below.

SKYPE ; seth_ray
MSN ; [e-mail]

[( shannon )]

I'm sorry Seth but I'm going to have to pend this for multiple reasons.

1) I think the whole application needs to be read over once again. Check for capitalization, punctuation, and grammar errors throughout.
2) Every section needs to be longer. There is a word count limit of 400 words per post so if each section reaches that, it would be much more acceptable.
3) Try to be a little more formal in the application. Although it is in first person with a character talking about themselves (and although it is very obvious that Conway has a sassy gay side through his tone) it needs to sound a bit more realistic for a writing site. Also, & signs and :] are not really acceptable in a more formal application like this is.

Overall, if these steps are taken I think there will be a huge improvement.

[( shannon )]

I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to reject this. The sections did not reach the word limit that I requested and I found numerous spelled and grammar errors. I can tell this was a bit rushed and it was a good change to third person, but it still does not meet what I asked for. Again, I'm really sorry. You have really good potential but I don't think you pushed yourself quite hard enough with this application. Feel free to reapply.