Rhiannon Mae Helquist

[pamere]

Character Name: Rhiannon Mae Helquist
Nickname(s): Rhi, Rhia, Ann
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Grade: Junior
Sexuality: Bisexual
Clique: Gossip
Weight: 127
Height: 5"8
Appearence:

Rhia's face is a lovely heart shape. It is framed by gorgeous locks. Her hair is blond. Her nose starts slender. But as it comes down, it fans out to fit her face quite well. Her face are a light pink. Her lips are slender at the top and the full at the bottom. She has no zit problem, which she sees as a gift.

Her body is quite appealing. She has a body with a medium build. It isn't extremely curvy. She has more muscle than curve. One mistake in the prep world left her like that. She has a very long torso. Her boob job is the largest B you can find. So you could say it makes up for her lack of curves. Her legs are very long as well, and her muscles in her calves are to die for. That leaves us with the feet...they're huge. She wears a 10 wide in woman's shoes. Once in a while you can see her tripping over them.

On an average day, Rhia will be wearing something that looks good on her and has the boys coming. She'll wear v-neck graphic tees and a pair of ripped jeans. Then she'll have either some low heels, flats, or converse shoes on her feet. Usually, she'll be wearing nail polish with a wickedly cool dsign on it. Same goes for her toes. As for accessories, she likes to wear gold and silver bracelets.

Personality:

Kind- Rhia is a kind girl. She rarely has a harsh word for anyway and prefers to fight with her wits instead of harsh words or physical acts of violence. She’s usually sympathetic to a friends plight (whatever that may be). She’s not a pushover though. If she senses she’s being taken advantage of, she’ll ‘fight’ back in her own way. In general though, she’s very patient with people, rarely raising her voice. Honestly, she’s so nice, no one would really want to throw a fit with her. Her whole theory is “kill ‘em with kindness.” Rhia was raised to be polite and kind. She expects it in return since that’s what she’ll dish out. She doesn’t do well with rude people but manages to finagle her way into getting what she wants (her parents used to say it was the gift of Blarney). She is very gentle and people rarely have trouble going to her when they have a problem (In less they are the upper class cliques), should they not feel safe going to any other teacher or counselor

Obsessive- A day you don’t see Rhia with some sort of ball in her hand is probably the day when hell freezes over. Rhia loves sports and plays, in particular, volleyball, softball, basketball and track. If she loses something like a lucky ring (she has many lucky things), she’ll search and search for it. And until she finds it she’ll obsess over how the team will lose the game or how her parents will be pissed. She’ll complain and complain till it is found.

Unfaithful-The thing about boyfriends is, she hops from one to the next. If she thinks a soccer player is hotter than her track team member boyfriend, she’ll make out with him. She’ll stoop down as low as a Geek to just get some kisses. So you could also say she is a wee bit desperate. Even if she has a guy. Let’s say she is playing spin the bottle and her boyfriend is there playing, too. She spins and the bottle doesn’t land on him. It lands on another guy that is equally as hot who is.. lets say….dating a cheerleader. So she kisses him, about 15 minutes after the game is over, you’ll find them in a closet stripped to their underwear. The sad thing is, the guys keep coming.
Persuasive-This girl has a smooth tongue on her. She can get someone alone in a closet with her, on a couch, in bed. Anywhere. And if she is caught, she slides her way out of it with a very good lie. She can fake cry with real tears so it isn’t that hard for her to make it look like she was forced into a game a of “touchy-feely”. This girl is a sexy beast that can lie.
Rebellious – She’s not big on authority. A teacher tells her to stop making goo-goo eyes at a boy, she’ll just do it some more behind the teacher’s back. She actually goes toilet papering once in awhile. One time she was caught and she acted like she lived at the house she toilet papered. The owner was on vacation, which was just pure luck on her part. Being a bit of a rebel she’ll kiss a few of the less desirable people. Like an emo or a scene. Once she stooped as low as an outcast. Luckily, it didn’t backfire. It gave her some major social points.

History:

On October 31st, 1994 Rhiannon Mae Helquist was first to be born into this world. Seven minutes later, her identical twin sister, Delaeni Barbara Helquist was born. Rhiannon and her twin sister were the 4th and 5th child of their parents, Nicholas and Tanya.The twins were followed by four more children. The family was obviously huge and constantly relied on a strict schedule to stay organized. Because of this, Rhia struggled....


Growing up, Rhia was on a constant schedule. Morning she had to get up and dress her three younger sisters (Jamie,Erin, and Molly) and her younger brother Derek. Then she had to get them breakfest and pack their school stuff. Her older siblings were doing chores outside (the family lived on a farm, too). Then they would hop in the family van and her brother Jackson's car and go to school. After school, it was off to the chores. Jackson and Henry went collect eggs from the hen house Hannah, Rhiannon and Delaeni started making supper. Jamie and Erin started cleaning up the morning dishes. Molly and Derek, who were only in 1st grade and Kindergarten when every kid of the Helquist family was in elementary school or high school, just started on what little and simple homework they had. As for Delaeni, Rhiannon never got along with her. Delaeni was smart, lazy, and a total Geek. The sad thing was is that Rhiannon shared the exact same DNA with her.

Delaeni and Rhiannon are nothing like eachother. And they were constantly compared with eachother. Delaeni took flute lessons. So at a recital Delaeni came in walking as an adorable 8 year old in a pink dress. Rhiannon walkd in in jeans, a denim jacket and a black tee shirt. Rhiannon sat in the back chowing down on cookies and punch. When everyone was raving about her talent and how pretty her dress was, Delaeni said her mother made it for her...which was true. But then Rhia went up to the girls in her recital who also raved about the dress and told them Delaeni stole it from Rhia's closet. So after that Delaeni didn't have any friends in flute lessons. So the gossiping began there...with a little lie.

When the girls were in the same art class in 4th grade Rhia was drawing a picture of a horse, so was Delaeni. Rhia told Delaeni that Delaeni's picture was almost as good as Maya Masters, a girl that actually had terrible drawings. Delaeni told the art teacher. But what did Rhia do? She said that she did not say that, but she said that Delaeni's picture was a good as hers. Delaeni got in trouble for lying. Delaeni and Rhia have had a grunge against eachother since. Delaeni calls Rhia a compulsive liar while Rhia calls her a good for nothing bitch. The funny thing is, their parents have no idea what their twin daughters do.

Now at school, Rhia is the ultimate gossiper. The bathroom wall is her kingdom. She'll walk real slow past every table, or maybe just sit at a table and pretend to talk to someone at the table across. She has dug dirt up on the royal court, the exchange students, even the jocks. The scenes and goths are the hardest to do. She plans on dating a scene to learn a few things. That little naughty girl. She can come up with a plan like that just to dig up some good dirt. While her parents go on with financial struggles, they unknowingly watch their daughter nearly have sex with every guy she dates. They are totally oblivious to her actual dating life.

Sample Rp:

The room was very quiet. It was almost six o'clock and most of her sisters were asleep. Rhia was sitting in her room at her desk finishing up some homework so she didn't mind the peaceful silence. She didn't have any sisters to share a room with anymore, Molly, Erin and Jamie shared the one next door. But Rhia left her door wide open in case anyone needed anything. Her laptop sat open in front of her and there were books and notes scattered everywhere on her desk. Sticky notes clung to every available surface including some on her computer screen and the mirror on her vanity. Rhia ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. She was dressed casually today wearing ripped jeans, converse shoes and a UCLA sweatshirt. She wore earrings that were diamond studs. A pair of braided brown leather flip flops were resting in the middle of the floor where she had kicked them off after coming home from school yesterday. She wore her hair the same way she usually did. A loose braid that fell to the middle of her back.

Rhia was preoccupied. She was right in the middle of a project, but she had a lot on her mind so she was finding it hard to focus. She decided that since the project wasn't due for another week she could take a quick break. She wasn't making much progress anyway. She yawned and stretched her arms above her head trying to decide whether or not she wanted to get up to grab a quick bite to eat before waking the kids up for school. Before she could decide, Rhia heard someone coming down the hall. Curious, she leaned back so that her long blond hair fell over the back of the chair and she could see out her doorway. A brown haired, sleepy looking girl approached her room, dragging a teddy bear behind her. Rhia was used to her sister Molly coming to her room. The now second grader still had nightmares. It happened all the time. Rhia was getting better about when to expect Molly. It usually happened when she drank a glass of water before bad and didn’t go to the bathroom. So the urge to pee in her sleep made her have a nightmare so she could wake up. It was odd logic, but somehow it made sense.

Rhia checked her phone for messages from her boyfriend and then she stood up. Then she said “Molly, go to the bathroom and you’ll be fine.” . Molly shook her head and went. But as soon as she came back she crawled in Rhia’s bed and fell back asleep. Rhia looked at her alarm clock. It was a half hour before she had to wake everyone up. Being a sister playing mom was not easy. But Rhia made it work. Jamie and Erin helped enough to make up for some of Delaeni’s laziness. Dishes got done, people got fed and homework got completed…usually.

Celeb:

Kesha Sebert

Out Of Character:

Person Behind The Face- pamere (Juliette!)
RP?: About 4 years now
Call me?:pamere

[( shannon )]

Overall the application was very good. I think it needs a few edits and it will be perfect. The personality is good, but I think the appearance needs to flow a little better. It was quick and to the point and I feel that it could benefit from being lengthened and more organized. Break it up, perhaps, into three paragraphs with each paragraph covering a different section and then finish off with how she dresses/etc. For the history, I think it would be better if it was a little more formal. It sounds like she is talking to us, which is good, but maybe change something like this:

After the twins came four more kids. Obviously, this is a big family. Nine children! This family was very organized, they ran on a strict schedule 24/7. This schedule would never have worked if they didn't rely on eachother.

to this:

The twins were followed by four more children. The family was obviously huge and constantly relied on a strict schedule to stay organized. Because of this, Pamere struggled....

Make it personal, but formal too. Just a few edits and this application will be golden!

[( shannon )]

Unfortunately I'm going to have to reject this. The biggest problem is that the writing style is really choppy. But before I get to that:

There are a number of grammatical and spelling errors I caught throughout the application that should have been corrected before submission. But they were minimal and not really a big problem.

I get really confused reading through the application because it jumps from one thought to another too quickly without clear transitions. During the appearance you would go from talking about her breasts to her legs. What is needed is a clear movement from one subject to another with a sentence in between directing to what you are going to talk about next.

Also I feel that this application is missing a personal touch with more imagery in the sentence beginnings. Everything is to the point and it starts to feel like you're saying "Rhia is kind. She likes sports." There were a lot of good sections, however, like the description of what she would do if she felt taken advantage of, but we only got one sentence on it. Specifics would have helped.

The personality was definitely your strong point of the application and I enjoyed it, but the appearance and history were just too choppy. What the history really needed was more of a personality. You told me everything she would do in the morning but I need to know how the character felt. Taking care of her other siblings had to be stressful and I would have liked to see the character come out more in the history.

I'm writing all of this because it is extremely hard for me to reject you. I really hope that you take this not as criticism but as advice. Please feel free to reapply.